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The "cough-sneeze-burp-spit-and-fart" Situation

Updated: Dec 3, 2019

The title of this post says it all, and people living in Hong Kong (or visiting HK often enough) will definitely understand what it means, right away...


The "cough-sneeze-burp-spit-and-fart" Situation refers, exactly as described, to people who uncontrollably and inevitably, yet intentionally (or so it seems), cough, sneeze, burp, spit and/or fart on you or your immediate vicinity, sometimes right in your face and/or at the precise moment your path crosses theirs. And no, I'm not kidding. I have been a victim of it countless times. Too many times for my liking actually. Too many times to just be a coincidence... and in too many places all over HK to just be localized minor incidents...


In fact, what sparked the inspiration to write such a post is that a lady literally cough/sneeze (*) in my face, about 3 weeks ago, when our paths crossed while walking on the pavement of a busy street in HK. She did not stop, didn't apologize, acted like if nothing happened, like if it was normal to cough/sneeze on somebody else face, and nonchalantly walked away from the scene like if I did not exist.


Obviously, she did not care or did not even feel sorry for what she just did. The street was busy, and she immediately disappeared into the crowd. The whole situation happened only in a matter of seconds, and I was left speechless and disgusted, looking around to check if I could see her, but in vain.


Since that day, I have been coughing and sneezing: a dry, nasty cough, hard to get rid off and loud, heavy sneezes, making me blow my nose every minute of the day. And whatever medicines I take, they do not seem to work, so far. I wish I could have said something to her that day. It would not have changed the fact that she (so kindly) passed on her infected germs to me, which made me sick, but at least it would have made me feel better on the spot.


The sad reality is that this was not the first time it happened to me, And I'm not the only one this sort of situation happens to, as most people in HK (including myself) are being recurrently coughed or sneezed on, on a daily basis, everywhere they (we) go. In the streets, the trains, the bus, the elevators, the escalators or anywhere else you can think of, in HK, there will always be someone (a mannerless, discourteous individual) to, unavoidably, sneak out from nowhere to do something noisily or odorously or even gustatorily (...yuck!!!) distasteful to you, at some point during the day.


In fact, apart from the sound and smell (and even taste... re-yuck!!!) of being coughed or sneezed in the face, the streets of Hong Kong also offer a handful of other noises and smells, like in all big cities around the world. But, I'm not talking about those from cars, buses, traffic, shops, restaurants, etc... I'm talking about the noises and smells emanating from the people and done consciously out loud.


You see, in Hong Kong, it is very common for people to release themselves loudly in public. It is supposedly a healthy thing to do (you've got to let it go, man, no good to hold it inside), and is, comprehensibly, a natural thing to do as often as needed and as loud as it comes to be fully relieved (flatulence and belches creating such a discomfort if/when kept inside).


Consequently, besides the usual sounds of the city life and the distinctive lingering smell of morning garlic breath, come, as a natural addition to this cacophonic urban fanfare, the "charming" and "elegant" sounds of burping, farting, spitting, coughing, sneezing, grunting, gulping, slurping and "heavily-charged-with-thick-mucus" throat clearing. Done usually in public areas, the more crowded the better (or so it seems), shared with everyone with no restraint, no shame, no regret and no remorse. The louder the better (or so it seems).


You can't avoid it, as it is part of the culture and the traditions here in Hong Kong (and more especially in China next door), and all the locals do it (as well as the foreigners who happily forgot their western education and manners and quickly adapted to these local usages - the Australian and the British in particular). A real Clash of Cultures for French-American dude like me.





Talking about Clash of Cultures, it is nearly impossible for a foreigner not to have one when visiting or moving to HK for the first time. For me, it happened when I first arrived in Hong Kong, back in 2011. I had a major clash of cultures as soon as the taxi from the airport dropped us in Central. Looking around and realizing we were surrounded by mostly Asian people (despite the few and occasional westerners, middle-easterners and even rarer Africans passing by), I immediately noticed the many differences in people's manners and behaviors in the street of Hong Kong compared to New York (where I was living prior to arriving in HK). A Sino-Western Clash of cultures, as I like to call it. (**)


To give you a few examples of these differences, New Yorkers are usually loud, opinionated, rude, impatient, rough, barking around, often getting into other's business, quick to point fingers and even quicker to judge and assume you did something wrong. And you definitely don't want to make eyes contact in fear of (at the worst) either "getting mugged" or "getting punched in the face" (I personally witnessed both situations, and not only once in nearly 10 years living in the Big Apple), or (at the least) receiving a response similar to: "What are you looking at?" or "Can I help you? (but in a mean way)" or "Did you just look at me?"... And do not talk to people if you don't have to or are not invited to either, or fear the same consequences as the eyes contact.


While, locals in Hong Kong, (meaning native Hong Kongers and mainland China included), are quite the opposite, being rather discreet, fairly silent, usually peaceful, a little nosy at times (on a discreet way) but overall minding their own business, rarely making any eyes contacts, and only engaging into a conversation with others only if/when needed or invited to, but generally in a helpful way. In short, mainly due to their indifferent demeanor toward whatever could happen to others, HK people are seemingly quite pleasant and relaxing compared to the "Yankees".


Personally, and although I somehow miss living in the Big Apple (for many reasons), moving from NYC to Hong Kong was really heaven for me. Especially after nearly a decade of living (and working) in the hazardous northern part of Manhattan (in "Inwood", near the Bronx), and also, later on, working in the posh part of Brooklyn Heights, which, despite the amount of rich and famous living in fancy distinct wood and brick Federal-style houses, could also be creepy and even dangerous at times, especially after nightfall. I have seen and witnessed too many crazy things happening day and night at both locations, (Inwood and Brooklyn Heights), and everywhere in between in Manhattan. Some people are definitely out of their minds out there!


Yet, New York City is great, vibrant, energizing, amazing and surprising, and even euphoric at times, but it is definitely not an easy town, and it can be very tiring, unsafe and worrisome too. You need to have the New York attitude to survive there. You have to quickly learn how to constantly look upon your shoulders, be on your guard, be ready to respond (if you have no other choice) or to flee (depending on if the situation allows it), be rough and tough if needed. You have to strengthen your character and personality to buffer the stress, the anxiety and other psychological (and even physical) impacts mainly caused by the crazy life in "The city that never sleeps" and cope with the too-often weird attitudes and behaviors of its inhabitants. Not everybody can make it there, but there is nothing more accurate than what the famous NY song says: "If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere."


Hong Kong is also great, vibrant, energizing, amazing and surprising, and also even euphoric at times, and it can also be tiring, but not unsafe or worrisome (in my opinion). On the contrary, after living in Bordeaux, Paris, London and New York prior to moving to HK, I can even say that Hong Kong is (in my opinion) the only place where I really feel safe and without the omnipresent pressure, fatigue and stress I could feel in these cities, so far.


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Aparté


Of course, like in any big cities, they are hazardous neighbourhoods and places in Hong Kong where a "Gweilo" (Cantonese slang for white westerners like me) should not venture on his own, especially alone at night, but, overall, in all the neighbourhoods and places I lived, worked and/or visited, during the day til even really late at night, over my last 8 years living in HK, I never had any problems whatsoever. I cannot say the same for the 4 other cities mentioned above.


For example, it happened that I had to walk the streets of HK for a while late at night after work (when I worked as a Sommelier in restaurants) or even after having a drink or two with friends, and I never had any problem whatsoever. A thing that I could have never done elsewhere with the same safe feeling.


I mean, don't get me wrong, but, will you walk alone at 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning in Manhattan? London? or Paris? Unless with a group of friends, otherwise if alone, personally, I won't. These cities are dangerous, especially at night, in my opinion, and my personal experiences. Walking alone in some of these western capital's cut-throat streets, late at night or really early in the morning, is definitely a good recipe for disaster. And don't even try to convince me either, I've been there, done that, won't do it again.


Don't get me wrong (once again), anything can happen in HK too, I guess. But so far, in my 8 years living and working in several places in different parts of the main island and in the New Territories, I have rarely seen or experienced (in HK) the roughness and crude violence I've witnessed (and even been a victim of) in the Big Apple, London and Paname (street slang name for Paris).


In fact, in my experience, the only dangerous people in HK are mostly the drunk foreigners looking for a fight or trouble, around the touristic bars, restaurants and clubs areas of Wan Chai, Lan Kwai Fong and some parts of Tsim Sha Tsui. They are loud, obnoxious, super annoying and usually awfully rude with the locals, especially Chinese and Philipinos girls. The best is usually to not pay attention to them and walk on the other side of the street to avoid them.


However, let's end this "Aparté" and put aside my opinions about these other cities and the dark memories that come with them, as, once again, I'm derivating from the main subject, and let's get back to and focus on the subject of this post: The cough-sneeze-burp-spit-and-fart situation.


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To resume and as said above, the "cough-sneeze-burp-spit-and-fart" Situation refers, exactly as described, to people who uncontrollably and inevitably, yet intentionally (or so it seems), cough, sneeze, burp, spit and/or fart on you, right in your face and/or at the precise moment your path crosses theirs, while walking in the street or in some public places of Hong Kong (like the lady in the example at the beginning of this post).


In Paris, London or New York (or elsewhere for that matter), these things can also happen, but, usually, more rarely (or less frequently), as the Western culture and education (e.g. compared to the Chinese education) teaches you that coughing, sneezing, burping, spitting or farting on somebody, or anywhere close to somebody, is bad, unpolite, disgraceful, inconsiderate, can be reprimanded and could easily get you into trouble if you happen to do it on the wrong person.


Consequently, from a very early age, you know better not doing it accidentally, unless amid a profusion of immediate excuses and apologies, and definitely not intendedly to prevent a slap, or worst, a punch in the face (depending on the personality and character of the victim).


And the Western culture also teaches you to step aside, turn your head, face a wall or the floor, or put your hand or even your forearm in front of your mouth when you feel a cough or a sneeze (or any of the other situations: burp, fart, spit, etc...) is coming or about to happen, to prevent from spreading your germs and/or smell on somebody else; which is normal, polite and (at the least) the most decent thing to do. More especially when you live in big cities where the density of population is higher and these situations can occur more often.


Yet, in Hong Kong, coughing on people seems to be the national sport embraced by most locals, especially coughing on white people (or foreigners, in general, should I say), which, ironically, does not require any apologies or excuses to be made by the offender to the one being offended.


I know, I'm not going to make some friends with this post and writing that way about such a subject, but it is true (and, if possible, prior to you get upset, I will try to explain to you why).


Countless times I have been the victim of such situations, meaning having someone (generally a local) literally coughing in my direction or even coughing on me intentionally (or so it seemed). And honestly, it is frustrating, saddening and tiring, all at the same time. I found it so rude and annoying, it is even difficult for me to describe it with words.


To further detail and enhance the scene from the example of the lady at the beginning of this post, just imagine the situation:


You're walking in the street of Hong Kong, nice and easy, music in your ears, lost in your own world, minding your own business, dodging the phone-zombies and moving swiftly through the crowd (***). You're in a rather good mood, as the weather is warm, the sun is shining and the pollution is at a "decent" level. For once, you can perceive that the sky's natural color is blue, not the usual hazy, thick, hard-to-breath, polluted, greyish-yellowish-greenish color of the veil of pollution usually hiding it. Everything seems fine in the world and promising for a good day ahead... even the faces of the Hong Kongers passing by seem to boast a faint, timid, almost friendly sort of smile (somewhat enlighting their usually stern faces)... when suddenly, out of the blue, someone literally coughs in your face...


Well, what? What just happened? Did I just get coughed in the face? Did he (or she) just literally coughed on me without turning his (or her) head to the other side or even tried to cover his (or her) mouth with his (or her) hand or forearm?


So, you turn around to realize, to your dismay, that not only the person may have done it intentionally, but also did not even stop to apologize or excuse himself/herself, and already vanished in the crowd. Leave you alone and annoyed with some micro residues of sneeze all over your face and your previously good mood definitely gone, while thinking and cursing out loud in your head: "Thanks for ruining my day. I'll probably get a cough now (you m***er f**ker, b**ch, a**hole, co**t, etc...)"


Rings the bell? Yes, why am I not surprised? Me too, and that is the main reason why I wrote this article in the first place.


And I'm not saying that it does not happen elsewhere in the world, all I'm saying is that, in HK, I have been a victim (and most of my westerner friends too) of this kind of situation on a daily basis for the past 8 years. It is not even occasionally, it is every day. When I walk to or from the train to go to work, in the train during transit between home and work (or elsewhere), at the supermarket, at the mall, etc... etc... everywhere I go, I usually get coughed on at some point during the day (and I'm not the only one).


Sometimes, it is a big, sudden, unavoidable cough or sneeze in the face, for which I'm frankly "grateful and delighted", and also ready to break the person who just did it in a thousand pieces, as clearly, I hate it and it disgusts me, and every time I'm getting sick (cough and sneeze for at least a week). Thanks for your germs. Next time, be considerate to others, please turn your head the opposite way and/or cover your mouth with your hand or forearm. And/or at least, be polite and say "excuse me" or "I apologize", it won't hurt and it will show that you care a little.


Sometimes, (most of the times should I say), it is a small, dry, sneaky, faint and hostile cough, directed solely at me, surprisingly right at the moment my path crosses with a local pedestrian coming toward me and getting closer like if I was a magnet, to turn his/her head toward me (at the moment our shoulders nearly touch each other), and cough!!! Almost like a defence mechanism against foreigners or like a way of showing his/her disapprobation of me being here (I did not say "racist" way, but the word crossed my mind). Like a conniving disapproval threat covered as a cough to be less recognizable, but still badly stinging your feelings when it happens.


At first, I thought I was wrong, that they were just minor incidents or coincidences, done with no wrong intention. I mean, I understand that it can happen to anybody to suddenly have the need to cough and not been able to control it, it happens, but usually, in normal circumstances, and more especially in the western world, the person will immediately turn his/her head or put his/her hand to cover his/her mouth to prevent the spreading of his/her germs.


However, as already expressed above, and whether it is a question of culture and local habits or a lack of education, I don't know, but being coughed in my face, directly at me or in my direction happened to me too many times to just be a coincidence... and in too many places all over HK... In my opinion, it is both part of the culture and the traditions of Hong Kong and a lack of education or manners.


So, I started to pay more attention to these sneaky, dry, faint coughs, everywhere I go and realized that they happen much more often than I thought during the day, every day. And strangely enough, they occur always when the person is passing or standing next to me. Almost like a local secret code or type of language among Hong Kongers toward foreigners, especially white foreigners.


I can already hear some of you saying that it is crazy, that I'm exaggerating, or that is not true, or that's not possible, and/or that, basically, I'm inventing this whole story. But, no, I'm telling you, the small, dry, nasty cough situation happens to me on a daily basis.


You see, it would not bother me, (or even, annoy me, as it does every time), if the person was turning his/her head on the other side, or putting his/her hand or forearm to cover his/her mouth while coughing. But, every time it happens, instead of coughing a few meters away prior or after we cross paths, the person literally does it when I at my level and expressively cough when next to me and not even in the other direction, but in my direction. Sometimes even furtively looking at me in the eyes while doing it. Then walk away like if nothing happened.


I mean, you see the person walking toward you, everything seems fine and he or she is not coughing. But at the moment, he or she is at your level, he or she coughs in your direction or close enough for you to feel it is too close, and not even turning his or her head the opposite way. Put yourself in my shoes, what will you think in the same circumstances, especially if it occurs several times daily. How will you react? What will you think or do if you were in my place?


And if I happen to try to say something about it, the person always responds with this perplexed, bewildered, blank stare look, (the same one I have seen so many times in the eyes of so many people here in HK), like if he or she doesn't understand what I'm trying to say or even why I'm talking to her or him. So, how do you want me to think that it was not intentional?


Ok, you can say that it is because of our cultural differences and that I can't understand, they did not mean it that way, or you can even also put that on the account of a lack of education or a lack of manners maybe... but, in my opinion, it is a far-stretched "maybe", as I have seen it done many times to me and other people in the streets of HK, right in front of me, and it was clear to me that the unspoken disapprobation message disguised as a faint, dry, nasty cough was intended to the person who received it, usually white caucasian men (I've rarely seen it done to white Caucasian women).


And for each case I have witnessed, the scenario was exactly the same as the experience I described above: the person is walking toward you, a few meters in front of you, not coughing, and just when he or she arrives at your level and passes by you, he or she coughs or sneezes in your direction, without turning his or her on the other side, or stepping aside to do it not so close to you, or not even anticipating that it will come and/or doing it right before or after passing you by. But, no, each time, the cough or sneeze was not uncontrolled, it was planned and intentionally directed.


Of course, Hong Kong’s increasingly polluted air could be blamed for the increase of allergies, coughing, sneezing and other respiratory problems and illnesses over the last 10 years, and it surely also contributes to the constant dry cough most people have and suffer from in HK. Most people are now being more frequently affected by sneezes, runny nose, watery eyes, usually rapidly developing into a more severe and persistent cough and/or a full-blown hacking wheeze, which could even turn into a chest infection or worst.


The polluted air is definitely a problem in Hong Kong. Most locals and permanent residents are even suffering from allergic reactions to pollution nowadays. The omnipresent smog usually cloaking the skyline and hovering below Hong Kong's permanent blanket of clouds (trapped above the city by the surrounding mountains), is getting worse a little more every year. The polluted air is also interfering with the quality of life and the general health of the people who work and live in the city.


However, even if smoke, dust, pollution, micro-particles and other bad things in the air, are surely responsible for Hong Kong people repetitive and recurring daily dry coughings, this is not an excuse for coughing in people face.


Be respectful and be courteous, have some manners and be considerate to others, as repeated many times above if you feel a cough or sneeze is coming:


  1. Turn your head toward a wall or an area where it will not affect others (if possible)

  2. Do not cough in the direction of or toward people

  3. Cover your mouth with your hand or forearm to prevent spreading your germs

  4. Wear a mask if you suffer from constant repetitive coughing, to protect yourself by filtering the air you breathe, but more especially to prevent contaminating other with your cough.

  5. Go to the pharmacy to get over-the-counter medicines

  6. Consult a doctor if the symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks while taking over-the-counter medicines

I will end this post by saying that the same advices as above also go for burping, spitting and farting in public places and areas (even slurping and gulping). I understand that here, in Hong Kong, it is a cultural thing to do and that it is even suggested and recommended by the doctors to so by releasing what can create discomfort. I will agree to a certain extent.


However, please try not to share it with everyone around you and avoid doing it loudly. Nobody wants to feel, hear or smell (or even be the victim or be affected by) your coughings, sneezings, burpings and even less your fartings. As for the spitting, here again, I understand it is a cultural thing, but still, avoid doing it in the street or on people shoes. And please stop the "heavily-charged-with-thick-mucus" throat-clearing pretty much every time you're about to spit, it is disgusting and disgraceful. And personally, loud throat-clearing, makes me feel sick, it always makes me feel like if my throat was suddenly full mucous phlegm. A disturbing and deranging thought.


That's all folks! Until next time, be good, be courteous, and some manners and be considerate to others. Don't do to others what you wouldn't others to do to you!


And, please, refrain from burping, farting, spitting, coughing, sneezing, grunting, gulping, slurping and "heavily-charged-with-thick-mucus" throat-clearing in public places and areas, and, please, release your uncomfortable and smelly body-emanations a notch quieter and to yourself.


Thank you for your understanding and help on the matter,


Peace,


The courteous stickman (Domelgabor)



Parentheses / Remarks


(*) I wrote "cough/sneeze" as it was difficult to describe if it (what the lady did to my face) was one or the other, as they are normally quite distinct from each other. Yet, it was 3 weeks ago, so my memory is failing me, but to be honest, it sounded like something in between, like a convoluted cough that sounded like a strangled sneeze. It was rather strange, to say the least. 😉


(**) I like to say "Sino-Western Clash of Cultures". I don't know why. Maybe because it sounds so contemporary and reflects or resumes quite well the world current political and economic situation. On that note, by the way, a few months ago, I made a Sino-Western Clash of Cultures illustration, that I'm very proud of, for another post on my wine blog. Here is the illustration I did (below) and you can read the post here (if interested).

(***) I usually walk like that in HK, dodging the phone zombies and moving swiftly through the crowd, like if I was in a video game. I swear, one day, I will create an App or a video game called "Phone-Zombies" or "Walking in HK" (©Domelgabor 2019), where the goal will be to walk the furthest distance dodging "phone zombies", "walking walls" (3 or 4 people walking side by side at a very slow pace, thus annoying everybody walking the same pavement), "Smoking Elderly", "Angry Mobs", "Unleashed School Uniforms" and other common HK street's protagonists.

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